NIRVANA

不得不承认其实我是一个意志很薄弱的人，整天瞻前顾后左顾右盼患得患失，整天担心这个担心那个而不真的花力气好好准备。自从收到Starwood的二面通知，并得知和PwC一样都是周四上午的时候，老毛病又来了。

 

我现在担心的是什么？来分析一下：（KP周三出结果，offer名单中没我）&& （starwood实在来不及，二面只能放弃）&&（PwC的par面继KP后继续毁掉）&& （最后连移动也不理我）。

 

虽然大家一直在安慰我三个走完全程，一定会有一个offer的。但是KP和移动都面得实在不怎么样，PwC还不知道。最后什么都没有的可能性还是相当大的。

 

其实都没有又怎么样呢？继续找啊，不见得后面就没有好工作了。有时间纠结par没给我名片，par没对我说很快有结果，移动面试的时候一道傻的要死的子网掩码问题没达出来….还不如好好去看看书，多讲讲英语，多查查资料。过去的已经过去了，除了等待外没有其他办法，再纠结也不能改变结果。

 

不要纠结了，好好准备接下来的面试吧，毕竟我超高的一面成功率说明我的求职前途还是光明的，恩。

早上一睁眼就8点10分了，连滚带爬地从床上爬下来，镜子也不照就冲出门去，直奔微电子大楼。过去后果然迟到了，挑了最后一排某个座位做定。这个培训的理论课很蠢，上机课还是很有劲的。比如今天玩得就是熊猫烧香Orz…感谢EMC做出VMware如此高级的软件，可以让我们在虚拟机里对着熊猫地图标重重地双击，随后使D,E盘中所有的EXE瞬时全部成了一只只熊猫，看着D盘里一排排一行行的熊猫图标，那个叫兴奋…

 

其实要把这个病毒灭了也不难，但是…不知是我手里得病毒样本太高级了，还是我实在太弱了，进程关了，映像劫持了，注册表改了，文件删了，病毒还是灭不掉…难道我就是那种只能等着专杀工具才能自救得人吗？太对不起信安的名号了。

 

一边做实验一边惦记火箭的比赛，虽说一直对外宣称我最爱的是马刺，但火箭毕竟是自己家的队伍，肯定要比马刺在乎的多。原以为比赛放在周六上午，某位专业球迷必会看得很起劲，等他告诉我结果。可是知道11点比赛结束，仍然没有消息。中午一问，果然没看…我可以逃德语课，他可以不看火箭得比赛，大家都失去人生信仰了…

 

下午有着更有劲的事情等着我做，Morgan Stanley IT的笔试。说实话，我这种人这辈子都不会和MS产生什么关系，所以早做好心理准备，去笔试纯粹就是去玩，顺便去受刺激。可是，这刺激远比我想象中的大。从积分、概率、立体几何，到数据结构、数据库、操作系统、coding，几乎就没有不考的东西。

 

最让我郁闷的是第二部分概率+智力题。无数的题目似曾相识，仍硬币、买彩票、12个球找出有问题的一个…均是这种old的了不能再old的题目，有写题目非常确定自己1年前，2年前，甚至7、8年前都会做，可是真的考到了，却什么也想不起来，真想把脑力劈开来看看里面是不是一团稻草…或许我也要像Wizard of OZ中的稻草人一样，唱着if only I had a brain，去伟大的OZ魔法师那边为自己再讨一个脑子。现在的这个太废了。

 

笔试归来，翻出概率和信息论，看了10分钟很多题目就明白了，那么蠢的题目，前面做的时候就是不会，脑子不好，认了吧…

 

早早就订了灰姑娘的票，所以吃完晚饭就从学校匆匆向美琪冲去。最近实在太忙，这部剧连预习都没有，就冲过来看了。不过反正大家都是来看Lea的，也就无所谓了。说实话，这部剧确实不怎么样，与R & H的其他剧，Sound of Music或者Oklahoma相比，要逊色很多很多。舞台布景还算有趣，场面也算热闹，王子那个演员也蛮帅的，但是音乐实在是不精彩。整部听下来，只记住了The prince is giving a ball和impossible…这两句。没关系没关系，大家都是冲着Lea来的，有Lea在就可以了。

 

当Lea一开口的时候，真有全身血液倒流的激动，这个无数次从耳机中传出的声音就在我耳边歌唱，这个无数次在屏幕上看到的身影就在我跟前舞蹈，除了爽，没有其他词语可以形容了。我的Kim，我的Eponnie，我的Mulan，我的Fantine…真的是爱极了她的声音，喜欢她声音中很坚强、倔强的部分，她的On My Own也是我最欣赏的版本，每次聆听，单恋女孩痛苦无奈中的那份坚强都深深打动我。

 

Lea真的是不高，以前在看视频的时候都没有觉得，但是今天她旁边站个一米九的王子，灰姑娘又是光脚的，真的显得好矮好小，那么小的身体中可以爆发出如此强势的声音，真是很神奇的事情。

 

早就和月亮、Shiny说好去堵门，并且她们还早就打听到了Stagedoor的位置，谢幕结束立刻直冲那边。AICer不多，10个不到，其余的是大量的菲律宾人，第一次知道上海有那么多菲律宾人，Lea的到来把他们都聚集过来了。最先出现的是池子里的人，每个人都身背乐器，我们对每个人都说You’re great tonight，他么也很友好地和我们打招呼。15分钟以后，演员陆续出场，国王、王后、教母、两个姐姐，相继出现，逮住其中几个人签名，大家也都很客气。随后，王子出现了，小姑娘们激动地一拥而上，当然也包括我，这个王子真帅真高身材真好，前面远距离看就YY不已，现在近距离接触了更是口水都下来了，可是…我动作太慢，被挤到了外面….

 

正当大家都围着王子的时候，一个小小的矮矮的身影走了出来，她实在太矮，再加上大家都围着王子，竟没人注意到她。我定神一看，休闲装，驾着一副眼镜，此人不是Lea是谁？失控地尖叫到Lea!!!!听到我的惨叫，同志们触电一般向这边涌来，可怜的王子就被晾在一边了。由于我是第一个认出他的，所以第一个得到了她的签名。随后就开始贪婪地盯着她看，毕竟这种机会不是一直有的，可能这辈子也就这么一次了。Lea非常好，一点都没有国际级大明星的架子，满足每个人的签名合影要求。我们问她还会再来上海吗。会来上海开个人演唱会吗？她都回答不知道，但说希望有机会。名签完影合完，大家才放她走了。

 

接下来几天看的同志们请继续堵门，还有我们昨天都忘了TL这件事情了，请同志们带好设备，回来传我。

 

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最后加智力题一道，笔试中我唯一有把握的一道题目：

一家人家有两个孩子，其中一个是男孩，那么令一个是女孩的概率是多少？(old的不得了的题目，总算做对了)

When he passes me by
He's a ray of light
Like the first drop of sun
From the sky
And I know he's a king
Who deserves a queen
But I'm not a queen
And he doesn't see me

When he smiles
I felt the warmth of fire
And I see everything
Near him shine
The spark of light in his ways
I don't contain
I can't reach him
And he doesn't see me

When I'm beside him
With an uneasy heart
Immense pain tortures me
Like a sharp blade
And my heart is bleeding
No tourniquet can heal
Will he ever know
And he doesn't see me

When the darkness comes
I can hardly sleep
My Mind is full of his words
his smiles, his dreams
Do I have to forget
All the days with him
I can't help but weep
And he doesn't see me

There are things we can change
If we just choose to fight
But the walls of misunderstanding are high

When he passes me by
He's a ray of light
Like the first drop of sun
From the sky
And I know he's a king
Who deserves a queen
Someone other than me
So different from me

本文纯属虚构...

 

 

 

It’s a little bit weird to go through so many up-and-downs within a few hours, cuz such dramatic scenes usually take place nowhere other than in movies. However, I did experience such a night yesterday, which is totally strange, unusual and extraordinary to me. Never had I encountered such an experience; never had I been so jubilant; and never had I felt so worried.

 

Alex, the handsome, talented, humorous and energetic one, is leaving on Tuesday. Having been working together for 5 months, we all felt that 'he is an indispensable part of our office.' With handsome face, strong figure, and smart brain, he’s really a blessing of god. I like him. I do like him.

 

We decided to have a farewell party for him on Friday night, which he was extremely excited about. Moreover, our boss promised to pay the bill! Everything went on very well that afternoon, till it was five minutes to Feirabend. A quarrel between Jenny and Allen started unexpectedly, and the temperature in the office suddenly dropped to zero. ‘I won’t attend the dinner today’, said Allen. ‘Neither will I’ was Jenny’s answer. ‘What about the dinner?’, someone asked, but the answer was never heard. Everyone began to pack, and then left the office, and then headed for his own shuttle bus as usual.

 

Confused, shocked, and frustrated, I left the office. I couldn’t accept the sudden change at all. ‘Has anyone ever thought of Alex?’, I murmured to myself. It was to be his party, his last dinner with his colleagues, with whom he spent most of the time in Shanghai. I could imagine the disappointment in his countenance when Erik told him the party was called off. Should he be disappointed? Should he be angry? Poor Alex. Should he think all his colleagues, his so-called friends are just a flock of faithless bastards, who destroyed his last days in Shanghai?

 

Overwhelmed with dismay, it took me 30 minutes to finish the 10-minute walk between the office and the station. I felt as if my body was filled with lead, from head to bottom – I could hardly move. ‘Why didn’t you do something about it, just because you’re only an intern and they’re your boss? You are such a coward.’ Tears of shame and despair burst out. I could have done better. ‘What if DY was in the office today? What if he was present when the quarrel happened? I’m sure things would be different. He’s the one who values friendship. He would definitely do something, only if he were there!’

 

I kept crying even after boarding the metro. Tired, both mentally and physically, I could hardly control myself. When I nearly cried myself to exhaustion, my cell phone ringed. It was Jenny, with the news that we will still have the dinner together. I smiled, and then laughed. I know that I must look like a psycho at that time, who switched crying to laughing all of a sudden, but I DON’T CARE. I was rejoiced, hilarious, jubilant, ecstatic and…No words can ever describe how happy I was. I felt gratified that Alex wouldn’t be disappointed by us and at the same time I felt extremely grateful. It must be DY. It must be him to stand out and question everyone ‘Have you ever thought of Alex?’ Dear DY, Thank you so much! I love you!

 

It was not easy for me to find the restaurant, but I was singing and humming all the way there. At 10 past 7, all the people arrived. Alex looked extremely handsome in that dark shirt that day. And obviously, he was very happy. Since the boss would pay everything, we ordered a tremendous amount of stuff. We drank, ate and played games. Though extremely tired already, I enjoyed every minute.

 

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“I” have already gone through despair, ecstasy and bliss, however, the 2^nd part won’t be posted here, cuz it’s way too personal. Dear, maybe I will show it to you some day, maybe never.